Anything to make you happy
by Alexandrei Mc Fharlaey
Summary: Jowy and his thoughts about his angel... *shounen ai content*


Anything to make you happy.  
  
  
  
Unfortunately these wonderful characters do not belong to me, I just use them for my stories which come from my poor and weird brain (that had been seriously damaged by my sis) because, well, it's *fun*....Oh yeah they belong to Konami Computer Entertainment Tokyo (how lucky). Well I hope you'll enjoy this one. *bows*  
  
Story written in Jowy's POV (my first attempt at POV stories...^^;;)  
  
Shounen ai warning.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The story takes place in Muse before Jowy has to kill Annabelle.  
  
[...] = Jowy's thoughts  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
It is late...So very late...  
  
And I feel tired...  
  
I open the door of my room and throw my things in a corner.  
  
I want to sleep...  
  
I feel so desperate. And the worst is that I know I don't have any other choice, that *I* have to do it...  
  
[Why?]  
  
I want to forget everything.  
  
[Why?]  
  
I want to fall asleep and never wake up.  
  
I don't want to remember anything.  
  
I don't want to live in this nightmare anymore.  
  
[Why do I have to do this?]  
  
Though, I know I won't sleep tonight.  
  
Once again...  
  
So I just lie down and stare at the ceiling, waiting for the morning to come...  
  
Suddenly I hear a soft knock.  
  
_ Jowy?...  
  
[...Lexeï...  
  
Oh gods...]  
  
I sigh heavily...What does he want?...  
  
[Please just leave me alone...  
  
I need to think....  
  
Please just leave me alone...]  
  
_ Jowy...?  
  
His voice seems so unsure and so frail that I can't resist any longer.  
  
Again I sigh and I finally get up and open the door.  
  
_ Lexeï...Do you know what time it is? You should be sleeping or else you will be tired tomorrow.  
  
[And you'll need all your strenght to face what is to come...  
  
I'm so sorry.]  
  
_ I know...but... Jowy I need to talk to you. Please, it's really important.  
  
He sounds so worried that I can't refuse.  
  
_ If you say so.  
  
I let him come in. He sits on a chair by the window and I settle myself on the bed. We face each other silently for a few minutes. Then I decide to break this uncomfortable silence.  
  
_ So...What's the matter?  
  
He is a little embarrassed, trying to find his words. I can see him quite well from where I am.  
  
The moonlight wraps him in a luminous aura, he's just so angelic right now.  
  
[Beautiful...  
  
Beautiful in the light...  
  
As well as in the darkness...  
  
Like an angel...  
  
Yes, an angel, that's what you are...  
  
My angel.]  
  
My heart aches at this simple thought. I look at him when he finaly speaks.  
  
_ Ummm...Jowy...Is something wrong with you? I mean you've been acting strange lately and...and I'm kinda worry about you...So I wanted to know if I did or said something wrong because you don't talk to me and I got the feeling that you try your best to avoid me...Please tell me what's wrong? Are you mad at me?  
  
I just lower my head.  
  
How am I supposed to answer?  
  
I must be careful...Otherwise he'll discover the truth...  
  
[Lexeï....  
  
Why do you care so much ?  
  
You shouldn't worry for me...  
  
I don't deserve you, your friendship...]  
  
_ No...You haven't done anything wrong... It's just that I need to be alone to think ...  
  
[You don't understand...  
  
You're confused.  
  
I can feel it...  
  
I don't mean to worry you.  
  
But you must go away from me.  
  
Because soon...]  
  
_ You sure?  
  
I nod and ty to smile a little.  
  
[You're so innocent, so pure...  
  
How would you understand?  
  
You're always honest with everyone...  
  
And there I'm lying to you...  
  
But I only do this for you...  
  
Because I want you to be happy.  
  
I'll do anything to make you happy.]  
  
_ Yeah, don't worry for me...  
  
He doesn't look convinced but he says nothing.  
  
Another silence.  
  
_ Jowy...We'll have to fight against the Highland army...Aren't you afraid?  
  
I look at him intently and I see it. Fear. I do the only thing that has come to my mind: I go to him and hold him tight...  
  
He ... he feels nice against me...Heat reaches my cheeks...  
  
He is just so close...  
  
[Lexeï...  
  
I love you so much...  
  
And it hurts...]  
  
I want this moment to last forever...  
  
But I know it's impossible, isn't it?  
  
_ Lexeï...  
  
My voice is almost a whisper.  
  
_ Jowy?...Promise me something?  
  
I just shrug but deep in my mind I know I could promise everything and anything for him...  
  
[Anything to make you happy.  
  
I love you so much...  
  
Do you realise you hold my heart, my soul, my world ?...  
  
Probably not.  
  
But soon I...]  
  
I quietly nod. I can't refuse, I've never been able to.  
  
_ What is it?  
  
_ Promise you will never leave me and Nanami, that we'll always be together no matter what.  
  
[Always together...  
  
Always...  
  
I wish...  
  
I wish I could promise such a thing but I know it's impossible.]  
  
_ Jowy?  
  
He seems so vulnerable...so desirable...  
  
[ Do you know how beautiful you are?  
  
I want you so badly...  
  
But I don't deserve you.  
  
I never did.  
  
You are just so perfect.  
  
I want to do anything to make you happy.]  
  
_ Of course...  
  
Now he looks happier and I feel relieved.  
  
[I don't like seeing you sad or hurt.  
  
I would do anything to make you happy.  
  
I want you to smile and shine like the sun...  
  
Because you are the light that may save many people one day...  
  
The light that may free this country...  
  
You are my light, the only one I have ever had...  
  
I would do anything to keep you happy.]  
  
_ Thank you so much, Jowy! You don't know how much this means to me!  
  
I manage a small smile. But my heart wrenches and hurts in a way that no word could possibly describe.  
  
[Anything to make you happy...  
  
But...I hate lying to you...  
  
I feel like I'm falling and drowning.  
  
I am going insane...]  
  
_ Lexeï...I...  
  
[If I tell you...  
  
Will you hate me?  
  
Will you forgive me?  
  
Will you still trust me?  
  
Will you?]  
  
_ Yes, Jowy?  
  
I hesitate. Should I tell him or not?  
  
_ Ummm...  
  
I am a little embarrassed and when I look up, I see concern in his eyes. And my heart melts.  
  
[You shouldn't worry...  
  
Not for me...  
  
Because I am not worth it...  
  
Because of what I will do soon...  
  
You wouldn't understand...]  
  
_ Jowy?  
  
_ 'S okay. Told you not to worry!  
  
I flash my most brilliant smile to reassure him. I won't tell him. I can't.  
  
_ Well...then I guess I should get back to my room...  
  
_ Good night Lex...  
  
_ Good night Jowy...Sweet dreams...  
  
After he has closed the door I smile bitterly. Tears begin to trickle down my cheeks. This so very painful.  
  
[ I am so sorry Lexeï...  
  
I don't want to betray you...  
  
But you have to understand.  
  
I can't be your friend anymore.  
  
But you'll be my love forever...  
  
I'll never forget you...  
  
Never.  
  
Remember...  
  
I'll do anything to make you happy.  
  
Even if I have to lie to you.  
  
Even if I have to kill thousands people.  
  
Even if I have to burn thousands towns.  
  
Even if I have to fight thousands armies.  
  
Even if I have to spread chaos in the whole universe.  
  
Because I know your light will win at the end.  
  
That light in your eyes that will never die.  
  
That light I love so much.  
  
That pure light of hope and happiness.  
  
I'll do anything to make you happy.  
  
Anything to make you happy.]  
  
I lie again in my bed and drifft into sleep filled with happy memories and no war, no blood, no betrayal, no fatality. And only one thought for the one I love more than life itself:  
  
I'll do anything to make you happy.  
  
Anything to make you happy.  
  
Lexeï...  
  
  
  
~ Fin ~  
  
So? Guess it's not as weird as I thought...Still it is very confused, probably because I am bad at expressing feelings...*shrugs* Anyway, any criticism will be accepted, taken into account, carefully read, and so on...'Cuz I know it's quite poor...I'm ashamed when I read it again...Must be the worst thing I've ever written...Ummm. 


End file.
